We are in a state of domestic calamity. Our drains have been removed and for tonight we unable to use our bathrooms, dishwasher, washing machine. Dudley has just driven 12 miles, ostensibly to fill up my car with diesel, actually to have an opportunity to empty his bowels and bladder. Tomorrow I have to be at an event at 8am. I think I'll be able to hold out till then. Dudley may have to go to Tescos (which has, I understand, been renamed Fortnum and Masons) Alternatively he has the key to P&S's house.